Useless Collection of Memories
by ZippoKittens
Summary: This is probably non-fathomable for those who are not friends of mine.Not only Death Note.OCs are included.Many character from other anime's appear frequently.Will have pairings, probably MANY pairings in later chapters.Genre-Subject to change.Frequently!
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Unless your name is Lani, you probably wont understand this story too well. It has inside jokes…but feel free to read, as I offer some explanations at the end. Plan to make this into a useless collection that I can do on my spare time, using jokes and memories from my friends.

"I think you should come with me." I said this in my "unhappy" tone, so I could get Lani's attention.

"What? Who? WHY!?" Lani tried to walk up to me, but she ran into the coffee table.

"Because you are very, very drunk." I said plainly, but knew it would be of no use. It would probably never reach her brain. I grabbed her arm and guided her towards the door.

"You aint no police officer…" Lani managed to mumble this as her retort, but it was barely audible, and was ignored. "This party is fun! We were playing a game of pet shop!"

"Curse these pet shop parties that you insist on attending! You know Bunny gets out of control! Just because she brings the booze, DOES NOT mean it is ok to drink it. Usually you have better control over your actions. Shame on you." After saying this, I noticed a small figure in a purple cloak, passed out on my shoulder. "Bunny! GET UP! I said no booze tonight!"

The small rabbit staggered to her paws and let out a huge yawn. "I, Bunny Booze, do what I wanna do. Aint nobody gonna tell me what's what! " With that, Bunny jumped off my shoulder and ran back into KB toys to continue her party.

Lani leaned against me and began to doze off. I decided that the closest bench was a good resting point. I plopped down with Lani practically lying on me, and let out a sigh. It wasn't until then tat I realized a man was reading a newspaper on the other end of our bench. As the only thing I could see was the outer page of the newspaper, I stared, trying to read a passage. Hopefully, that would get my mind off Lani's beer breath…

The man moved the newspaper from in front of his face and looked back at me with a questioning glance. I was about to apologize for staring when I noticed who it was.

"Yuki!" I exclaimed, happy to see my one true love. Ok, I have two true loves, but the other one has failed to appear. So for now, I can devote myself to Yuki.

"I am sorry, but do I know you?" Yuki asked, uncrossing his legs.

"Oh…no. But I know you! You are amazing!" I said to him, losing some dignity along the way.

"Thank you." He smiled his amazing smile then stood up. His amazing hair was dark in the moonlight, but his amazing eyes shown. Yep, he was amazing. However, it was then he made his goodbyes and walked away rather hastily. I was kind of a creep.

Aside from Lani's snoring, there was no noise. After a few minutes, however, I heard footsteps coming closer. I turned my head to see a man holding a plate of cake in one hand and a cherry in the other. He popped the cherry into his mouth. It seemed that the second I blinked, I had missed his eating of the piece of cake. Indeed, to my surprise, the plate was empty.

"L? Were you at the party?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Why were you there!?"

"They had cake."

"Aren't you dead?" Realization hit me…finally.

"No. I am fully alive."

"But you were dead!"

"But I am alive. And in need of another cake. Do you have any cake?"

"No! I am sure there is more at the party though. Duh…"

"I am afraid I can return there. "Why…?"

"They kicked me out. He said, and began heading in a random direction. I could barely hear this last bit. "Ate all their cake…"

"…buttermilks…." Lani muttered in her sleep.

Ok! Time to explain. First off, Lani is a friend of mine. Bunny is the name of a Littlest Pet Shop rabbit. For her personality, it was decided that she would be an alcoholic. I think we agreed that she would be six years old…. Anywho, Yuki is from Fruits Basket. I LOVE him, so he needed to be in my first…chapter, I guess you could call it. L is from Death Note. He died in the series, so of course it is odd to see him! He is an odd one indeed, and rather enjoys sweets. This reminds me of another character who enjoys yummy stuffs!! I will need to put him in my next "adventure"…along with Zero and Kaname. I would like to have me and a sober Lani give talk to them about their behavior lately. BY THE WAY! I keep characters and their circumstances the way they were in the anime, even though the manga continues on and such. It creates less problems… Sorry for the rambling!

Talia-Minou


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I don know how to introduce this chapter…so just read on?

"BAKA BAKA BAKA!!" I yelled at Bekah, after all, she just bet _our _money on Kaname. "Do you seriously think Kaname can beat Hunny!? Are the stupidest of all stupids? Hunny can eat _way _more cakes than Kaname ever could.

"But…but he is so tiny. He is just a little Hunny." Bekah replied, but she obviously didn't see enough episodes of Host Club to realize…Hunny is a MACHINE.

DING! Crap, the race started before I could withdraw the bet. Kaname is seriously taking the time to put the napkin on his lap? "You little sissy! Hurry up and shove 23 cakes into your tiny mouth so we can get our money!" My voice was oddly loud and carried all the way to Lani. Ok, I guess that isn't too far, for Lani was sitting right beside me. Laughing…at least she was sober.

"I cant believe you chose Kaname! Kaname…over Hunny? In an eating contest. Tee hee. Too Funny!" Lani had to keep taking deep breaths as it seemed she had wasted all her oxygen on laughing.

"See that hole over there? Go jump in it!" I said, actually rather loud.

"I don't want to jump into a hole. I might get trapped down there. Actually, I am more afraid of you coming and throwing the dirt on top of me." Lani was completely serious…and I found that funny.

"Oh, but you don't have to worry about that." I managed to get this out between chuckles. Then my face turned to an extremely terrifying expression when I came to my senses. "I was talking to Bekah…"

I found that Bekah runs even faster when I squint my eyes a tear her body apart with my mind. That was my last 60 bucks… She WILL reimburse me. Even if it costs her life…

I glanced back towards Kaname and Hunny. Hunny's face was quite red, but I was only a little concerned until I saw a cake STILL on his plate.

"Another cavity!" I heard someone yell. If Hunny is disqualified, then Kaname will win by default!

"A replacement for our disqualified participant has blessed us with his convenient arrival!" I heard an announcer say this through the speaker…why cant they just say "We have a replacement."??

"I wonder who it is!" Lani said, growing oddly excited.

"Wanna know what would be hilarious? If the replacement was Zero! They would get so competitive… as if those cakes were Yuuki herself." Oh goodness… imagining Zero and Kaname eating cakes as fast as they can? Like I said…hilarious.

"That is a weird way to put it. If the cakes were "Yuuki" then, technically, they would be racing to see who can eat more of "Yuuki"."

"What an odd way of perceiving it…" I thought for a moment then decided on a response. "But then Zero would obviously win! He already has a head start, after all, he has been "eating" for a while now…"

"Ok, I am done. This conversation is getting confusing, Lets talk about…L!"

"Well, L has lots of hair…and uh…he is really cool…and…." It is awkward when you have to talk about someone forcefully, ya know?

"No…L. HE IS THE REPLACEMENT!! I should have known….Well, he will obviously win." Lani being oh so confident in one of her many idols. I must say, I accompany her in this fandom.

"Well, actually…he might use this chance to slowly enjoy devouring the sweets. You know he is unpredictable." Nyee Hee. I hope I am right, because then I can hold it against this FanGirl sitting next to me.

L took his seat across the table from Kaname. He picked up something that looked invisible. I heard L's words, though they were quiet. They would been inaudible if he didn't have a microphone… "There was a hair on this cake. It looks like yours." He held his hand out apparently pinching the hair between his fingers. "Here. It belongs to you after all."

"Uh…yes." Kaname actually took the hair. He dropped it on to the floor afterwards, but still- its like, Ok, thanks for giving me my hair back. I was looking for that specific strand…

In the mean time, Bekah came back. She had come upon an old medieval shop and bought a shield. It was conveniently placed between us. For I too had come across that shop and bought a sword. I was ready to drive her through with it, until I saw someone who goes by the name of Near.

"Near! Look! L is alive!" Lani this time…

"I know. His 'death' was for the sake of the investigation. Regretfully, Mello and Matt are also living." WHAT THE HELL?? Near doesn't talk! What is this crap? Maybe his one true lover is Lani after all.

"How the hell do you fake deaths like that!?" We covered L's death in the last chappy. I think most are aware that L is living…wait, Lani YOU WERE IN THE LAST CHAPTER!! Maybe you shouldn't get drunk next time with Bunny, you might miss out on this valuable information. Maybe I should tell her this…thinks of Lani's reaction… I will just have to say no to that idea….

"You put other people in their place. People that simply look like them." Heh…forgot about the conversation thanks to my rambling. What did Lani ask again?

"Very clever and mischievous." Don't applaud his tactics Lani! Stupid!

"No. It is not. It is simple." Wow Near. Thank you for ignoring the opinion and replacing it with yours which you expect everyone to refer to as a fact! Ok ok…I don't exactly _like_ Near. If Lani was in my thoughts right now…she might say something like SHUT UP! Actually, she would steal my hand and write I love Kyo Sohma all over it. Oh the lies. THE LIES!! Gosh Lani just speak your mind…( You thought you could follow my train of thoughts? Nope.)

"That Near character. He is more than just an ugly fish. He is an ugly…platypus. One that has practically while hair too. What would you consider that color anyway? Silver? White? Off-white thanks to the non-use of shampoo?" Bekah managed to whisper all of this into my ear before Lani caught her.

"What are you saying about Near!?" I took this chance, with Bekah unsuspecting, to poke her with the sword. It was collapsible.

"Useless toy!" These words are those that were spoken my me. "Here. You take this. I am sure you could find a usage for it."

Near took the sword then took the open seat next to Lani. Her face lit up.

Laughter came from the seat directly behind me. "Near is still playing with toys! I should have known." This man was Mello. A girl sat on his lap wearing the name tag (she decided she wanted everyone to know who she was) Kathy. (Refer to 'Something so simple, its complicated' by TamariKolulu )I guess Matt and Mello aren't…well...THERE for each other after all. At least that was I thought before Matt put his arm around Mello. (Not taking his eyes of his DS)

"Don't stray too far!" Matt told Mello with a huge smile on his face.

"Go find me some chocolate."

"But I am almost to the nineteenth level!"

"Go!"

"Ok, I'm going." Matt gently placed his DS is a specially made cushion then ran off to the concessions.

Several hours later, and after playing (and losing) several games of rock, paper, scissors, I went to get Mello's chocolate…as Matty had not yet returned. I found many a chocolate bar rather quickly, so I made my way back to my beloved…ERR-Mello, and (heh…heh?) handed him HIS beloved. The stupid chocolate. (NO! Don't tell Mello I said that about his one true love!)

"Now go find Matt." Not even thank you? I just spent the rest of Bekah's money for a non-thank you?

"What? No! I just got back, and I want to make fun of Near." (If Lani doesn't 'defend' the little genius.)

"Go! Matt cant be doing too well! He left his DS here!"

"Smmshhmssh (mumble mumble)and whose fault was that? Smmmhshh (mumble mumble)… And I am not going!"

"I gave you roses!"

"Ok, ok Im going…" Why do I crumble under those words….

After endless hours of searching all over Simpson's Stadium, I finally found Matt.

"Mattyyyyy!! What are you doing in Noise Land and Video Arcade?" As soon as I finished my sentence (errheerrrmm ARCADE) I realized the answer to my question.

"Giving out free hugs! For fourteen dollars that is…." Matty flashed me the cutest smile…I just couldn't resist. I handed him the fourteen dollars and received a hug. Oh where did the fourteen dollars come from? Well, as scrawny lookin' kid happened to be walking by…and well…heh heh? (He makes later, random appearances as 'Yam Head")

**Lani's POV**

**Ah. The moment is perfect. Sitting next to Near, ignoring Bekah, Not babysitting Tori, and trying to steal Mello's chocolate. (No success) Oh! I am doing all this while watching L kick BUTT (What the hell? What is up with Tori writing K+ chapters?) in a cake eating contest. If only Matty were here….**

**Oh! Who is this!? (Not Matty…sad face) But Yuuki Cross!? Heh Heh coming to cheer her stupid lover on? **

"**If I die tonight… your lover is Kira." L said to Yuuki. "Hmm? What is this…?"**

"**What!? Kaname-senpai isn't… A MURDERER!? Excluding the whole vampire thing, and don't mind any Shizuka incidents…" (Stop rambling…woman!)**

"**Hmm. Another hair…." L lifted another stand of her from a cupcake. **

**Kyaa! Hope you enjoyed. Had the best time writing it. Hope ya like it Lani-chan! Merry Mello to all!**

**Talia-Minou **


	3. Chapter 3

_Yo. It seems I have finally gotten over a writers block. Well, writers block diminished a few days ago, but then I experienced…an illness. I named it the "If you read to much intelligent work and argue with Near, then this disease is what you get" sickness. Well, it basically makes you write, think and talk in an intelligent manner, using 'big words', as well as words you didn't even know you knew. It was dreadful. Anywho, continue onward._

_INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE_

_**Mini Mello Story! Warning- contains tiny Mello's and not many words. Thus, "Mini".**_

_Currently, I am kicking a passed out Mello and wondering why I like him so much. Rather, I am wondering why Lani as some how managed to keep the title "friend" when I am in this…predicament. Oh, how, exactly, did this situation come upon me? Well, I will just have to tell you._

"_I __really_ don't wanna." There is simply no choice. I have to talk my way out of this one. I mean…its midnight.

"I gave you nine fricken roses!" I suppose now is the time to mention that he was supposed to get me twelve. Therefore, he broke his end of the deal, and I have no obligation to him.

"Well, I believe you are forgetting the exact circumstances! _You_ were supposed to get-" I was only trying to talk, so no need to feel guilty about interrupting your chocolate provider. Really. It doesn't bother me..

"Forget it. I am going to get it myself. I am going to hang with Matt after, so don't expect me back here."

I was sick of his constant…talking. I was trying to watch some anime…but he had to…._be_ there. So I had no problem agreeing with his plans. "What ev."

And that was the last conversation I had with Mello for three days. He didn't answer his calls, but that wasn't exactly…err…uncommon. However, I was mildly worried, and slightly bored. So, I decided to ask around. I regret it…really, really regret it.

Since he was the only one around, I asked Near where Mello may be. He told me…the story. Apparently, Mello went crazy for chocolate when he was out that night. He ran into a near-by game store, which obviously had a candy aisle. I mean, what are video games without junk food?

Matt had dragged (literally) Near into that very game store, just moments before. Long story short, Near and Matt watched as Mello came storming in, drunken, demanding they surrender their chocolate. And when I say "their" I mean the manager and other employees. After a series of events, Mello ended up in jail, Matt was playing Rock Band, and Lani was trying to find Mushabelly.

Later, without telling me, Lani shrunk Mello, to get him out of jail. Literally, he ran between bars and under doors. Finally, after a few days of following mini chocolate wrappers, I came to the conclusion that mini Mello had to be somewhere in my room. Lani graciously accepted the task of bringing Mello to normal size, and so I waited to see where he would…"grow".

So as I said, I completely regret allowing Near to tell me the story of Mells whereabouts. If he hadn't, I would be happily playing on my computer, listening to the quiet absence of Mello. Instead, here I am. Cleaning up broken pieces of my priceless frog collection, and hoping no body heard my T.V. hit the ground.

Damn her. Damn him. Damn the chocolate cravings that got him into this mess. But, don't tell Mello that I just cursed his beloved to hell. -referring to chocolate- I am sure Mello would enjoy assisting me in beating Lani's…butt.

INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE

"Ya know…you are acting a lot like Near right now." Shall I shove the dice into each of your eyes, Lani? SAY THAT AGAIN.

"Would you like me to voice my threat, or would you rather imagine the possibilities all on your own?" That should shut her up. It _should_, but it probably wont. Pity.

"You see? That would be something Near would say. Well, maybe not those words, but if he _were_ to threaten me, it would surely be as so." Heh. She simply doesn't know how much that….gets to me. However! It doesn't anger me nearly as much as Bekah's….luck. How does she do it? How on earth do you conquer an entire city!? Her name is not Sesshoumaru, therefore, she has no right to treat me like…this.

Instead of following my urge and throwing these cards cleanly towards Lani's neck, (Obviously, only trying to make annoying paper cuts. Obviously. Most certainly. Keep telling yourself that, kid. Or at least _stop_ calling yourself "kid".) I decided to throw the dice at Bekah's head. They, apparently, are rather hard. Wait until I tell Mello what a wimp Bekah is! Of course, I would, if I wasn't slightly afraid of getting slapped in the foot again. The mighty hand of Bekah. I mean, despite the rambling talent I had been putting to use, all I was attempting to do was change the song. Ho hum.

So, after taking out my anger on Bekah, herself, I sat back down. My feet shifted uncomfortably from a Mello position to L's. I hoped this would help my thinking skills. It works for him. So I need a strategy. Yes, before the end of this game I must remove my name from its spot next to Poori in the thesaurus. The Simpson's Monopoly thesaurus, that is.

Lani shook the dice in her hand while dancing to Futatsu No Kodou To Akai Tsumi. For those of you who don't know, it is the theme song to Vampire Knight. Landing on Noise Land and Video Arcade, she gave Matty a quick hug. Jealous that his hugs are free for her, I shot her the "I'ma kill you" look.

"If my Mells were here, he would be bowling. He is surprisingly good at it. Therefore, he would be at Barney's Bowl-a-rama." I decided that I would try landing on that spot, so I could buy it and make some reservations for me and Mello. Yes, reservations. I plan to buy it, after all, and everything I buy should be high-class. Except the Tire Yard.

"If Near were here he would probably be at Itchy-Scratchy Land, telling the producers how they should run their business." Lani was actually quite correct about this. And since I refuse to take part in a show that tortures kitties, I would gladly pass over all responsibility to Near. Surely he would remove all unnecessary explosion scenes?

"And L…He would be…well, he would probably pick up Mello from the bowl-a-rama and head over to The Guilded Truffle. They sell cakes _and_ chocolate. Add video games and library and you have Wammy Boy dream land."

"Hey, what about Kizel?" Bekah spoke up after what seemed an endless amount of silence from her. Lani and I both knew she was developing an evil plan the would be the death of our money flow.

"Kizel would probably be-" Kizel? She still didn't get it. There is no Kizel. However, I wish to play with her twisted, money-making mind. "Err…probably be at The Guilded Truffle as well. He is L's alternate identity."

"Tori. Is you're the fact that your money is non-existing affecting your brain power? You already told me that Kizel isn't a real character. I was just making a joke." Bekah….Bekah….that…..ugh, Bekah.

At this point I was making comments under my breath. I believe this would be considered mumbling. "You ugly fish." Then, I continued my incomprehensible mumbles.

"You say that too often." WHO ARE _YOU_, BEKAH!? Near? Shall I tell you like I told him? That you replace others opinions with your own, then claim your opinion is fact. It bothers me. But perhaps this is only so because your five hundreds pile grew. A lot. As in, we need a one thousand dollar bill because she has an overabundance.

Just then, Bekah rolled a five. Which means…free parking. Again. "Well. I am…done." They didn't catch on to what I meant. I rolled the dice one last time.

"What? Your done?" Lani spoke up this time. She hates quitters.

"No, not yet." The dice showed seven and I moved my fish. This was when I realized my good friend Blinky was a rather ugly fish, which means I was actually the ugly fish all along. That makes my previous retort towards Bekah quite…hypocritical. My train of thought was interrupted as I moved that last space. Heh. Burns Manor. "_Now_, I am done." Literally. Even if I mortgaged all of my precious estate, I would still owe Bekah and her monorail owning ass a good THOUSAND DOLLARS!!

And it was then that I was truly done. Never again would I play monopoly with Bekah again.

INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE

"Hey there." Time to mess with Mells.

"Yo?" So innocent. Or so he sounds! I know what you...did.

"I like your hair." This is true. But, I must remain creepy and distant. For this plan to work that is.

"What are you talking about? Of course you like my hair! Everyone does!" Stupid Mello….

"Who does your hair?"

"I do my own damn hair!" Has he caught on? Does he even know that is part of the song? Oh well. Carry on as planned.

"I wanna go there." That should work.

"What is wrong with you?" Dense. Thick. Dumb. A sigh escaped me and I grabbed my bouquet and counted the roses, again. At nine, I made a show of expressing my displeasure. I turned towards him with a frown and looked up with pleading eyes. He wont ever admit it, but I know it gets to him. And! I know he knows exactly what I am getting _at_…

The next morning I woke up with something on my forehead. It was a note:

_Here. Stop acting so goddamned weird._

_-Mells_

To my right, were three roses. I added them to complete my dozen and wondered what else I could get out of him with just some interesting lyrics….

INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE

"Lets stop at F.Y.E. and Hot Topic."

"Uh, ok. Why? What do you wanna get?" Better yet, what would she be willing to get me… Lani said herself, she had a big ol'stash a'money.

"L shirts. And I aint buying you nothing." Damn…

"L shirts! Sweet! Hot Topic is closer, lets head there." L tee-shirts, L tee-shirts! Humph, I sound like Shigure.

"You sound like Shigure." Heh heh. I know my pet. I know. "And I hope you arent referring to me as 'pet' in your head again." Damn…again.

"Heh…well! Lets go find Matty and Mells, eh?"

"I think we should go to Hot Topic first, as planned. I doubt Mells would want to see you buying shirts with L on them. He always assumes that they made Mello-tees as well. However, I am sure that Matty would want an L-shirt for himself." Fine…shop first, flirt later.

Twenty minutes later….

"Well, Hot Topic is overly stuffed with merchandise that includes no Death Note items. Are you sure F.Y.E. would even have any? It is not exactly a clothing store."

"Yeah. I saw them there last time I went. I didn't have enough money though." So…you knew they were at F.Y.E….but we went to Hot Topic first? "We went to Hot Topic first because I wanted to see if they had any good Wammy Boy shirts."

"I didn't give you permission to read my mind! I know it comes along with your shrinking abilities….but ask first! And, that Hot Topic trip was a failure. Utter failure!"

"Oh, shut up. You know yo enjoyed the batman shirts. You would have bought one if you weren't saving up for you L-tee." She's right…

"I shall convert you into something more, my puppet! You shall become my minion."

"What the hell does that have to do with our conversation!? And don't call me your damn puppet. Nor minion!"

"mmmmshh….puppet….."

"WHAT!?"

"Nothing!" (inserts parenthesis just because she knows Lani doesn't like them)

INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE

Now for the actual story - done with mini's.

"Well, what do you wanna do? We made it all the way to DietLemonIcedTea Game Park…on one bike." What the? What the hell!? She just made that up off the top of her head? Is this because she is bored? Stupid Bekah.

"Bekah, you made that up. I know you have to do something in order to soothe your boredom, but these thoughts may influence hallucinations."

"Heh heh. She needs to press 7, so her call can be transferred to the mother ship!" I suppose there is no need to mention all of the times I, myself, have called the Insane Hotline.

"And you need to press 3,4,5 and 6. You see, I was having a conversation with your alternate self, Lucinda, and she mentioned to me that there is a third you. Her name is Mary-Beth." Lani, who are you having conversations with my alternate identities without my permission?

"She makes that kind of stuff up. I don't have no third _being_ in my body." So I do, but nobody needs to know that, eh?

"I think you do, In fact, I think I have met her."

"Nah, if you met her, you would know. She doesn't talk. She sings. Random versus from random songs, but they at least make sense in the conversation. Usually."

"So you do have another! And how do you know what she does? Are you but an innocent by-stander whenever your other 'selves' take over!? How interesting!" Don't tempt me to mention your own alternate identity, Lani! I know I am sworn to secrecy by your other half, but….

"Heh. Sure." I am done with this conversation. I wanna do something fun.

Lani began fiddling with her kimono, (indeed. She loves to wear them. Who knows why….) out of boredom, and fiddling gets on Bekah's nerves. Ok, I lied, it gets on my nerves. Ah well. What am I gonna say? Stop! I no like when Lani play with kimono! Apparently, fiddling makes me talk like Tarzan. I was brought out of my thoughts when Lani and Bekah got into an argument.

"Anything you can do I can do better!" Whoa! Bekah is Kyo!

"I can do anything better than you!" But Lani doesn't deserve the honor of being Yuki. Nope nope.

"No you cant!" This is going to become a pattern I assume. I wish to be in a pattern!

"Uh yeah, yeah I can." Hey! At least that was a little twist on the original words! Props. Kudos, what ever.

"Ok I am done with that song. Next?" Oh heh. It was karaoke all along…

"How bout this?"

"Great!" Bekah agreed to it that fast? I wonder what it is… "Ready?"

"Nyan! I will be player 1. Oh! Here is my part! Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl! You've got the moves to rule the world!"

"That cute insurability. Tokyo girl, you're a mystery!" Baka! Don't encourage Lani into falling under a previous obsession once more!

"Heh, ok! Next song!" I hit 'next song' and waited to see what it was. It holds hundreds of songs apparently. This should be interesting…

"Must we do this one?" Ok, next song it is. I have no interest in listening to you and Bekah singing Bicycle. I can just imagine Bekah, 'I want to ride my bicycle…" I chose a song and sat back down in order to watch the show. I also wondered who this Linda character was. Apparently she was someone special, but I have no idea who she is….

"Aw." Lani…I know what's coming next. 'Must we sing this song?' Before these words came out, Bekah handed her the pickle she was about to throw out. She thinks Lani wants a pickle!? Heh heh. "Uh…I don't want to sing this song…." Ah. There it is.

"Too bad." Bekah smiled as she saw the name of the song popped up on the screen. I rolled my eyes as I read the words 'Run to the Hills'. "Run to the hills….run for your lives…." Oh god. It hurts!

"Well, I think I am ready to head home now." I cringed as another one of the tiny explosives blew up. A small tingling feeling in my elbow told me more was to come. I gave Lani a death glare, and she seemed to understand what was happening. Exactly how many explosives had Near planted?

"He has been looking for eye-sight plucking tools, ya know." This is what you have to tell me? That when you were drunk the other night you actually meant what you said about Near's evil plan? I will be on the look out for L, my apparent hero.

"Tell him I will torture Mushabelly if he lays a hand on me!" That should do pretty well. For now. He will of course, have to spend his time looking for a suitable hiding place for his beloved…Mushabelly.

Just then, Mello walked into the karaoke bar, pulling Matty along with him. He found us quickly and sat down. Matty took his place next to Lani, pulling a tambourine from his parka.

"Ah ha!" Mello came to some kind of realization…but he doesn't ever say ah ha. Its weird… He grabbed the tambourine from Matt's hands. "The very utensil that disrupted my worshipping! I was praising God, I hope you know."

"Mello's religious?" Bekah! You know nothing! Of course he is religious. Maybe because I hit you in the head the other night. What can I say? You were snoring and whacking _me_, while I was innocently trying to play Rock Band.

"He is very sorry! He just likes to enjoy the music, and therefore…helps out with the creation? Heh…" Lani has failed in her attempts to save Matty from a probable beating. That's Mells…

"Well, then its ok. Anyway, I found this box of chocolate in your room. Tor. I hope you don't mind if I…well, even if you do, I still want it…and I _get_ what I want." Cue Mello's death stare.

"What ever, it was for you anyway."

"Good! And that's how things should be." He placed the chocolate box on our table and opened it up. As he grabbed the first piece, I realized that I hadn't seen him carrying the box when he came in…

"Where were you holding that, Mells?" It wasn't a large size, but he didn't have pockets…

"Oh, I had it in my pants. Why?"

"YOU CAN FIT A BOX OF CHOCOLATE IN YOUR PANTS!?" They were after all, very tight leathers.

"Uh…Yeah?

"That's slightly disappointing…" Ho hum.

Heh. Heh. Memories….

Mells- Hey Cat, where's Tor?

(Meow)

Mells- Don't know?

(Meow)

Mells-Are you sure?

(Meow!)

Mells- Ok… Pats cat's head awkwardly." Oh god, I need to bathe.

More Memories…

Mells- What is this thing?

Lani- Its Near's Mushabelly!

Mells- Oh god, it's Near's?

Lani- Yeah. He licks it.

Mells- HE DOES!? drops Mushabelly I need to shower! Takes five showers with intervals of only one minute each, not even leaving Lani's. Ah! Out of hot water!? Tor! I am heading to your place! Throws current 'showerer' out of Tor's bathroom, takes five more showers.

Tor- He seriously licks it?

Lani-Nah. Just wanted to see what he'd do.

Near-Must you jeopardize my sanity every time you wish to experiment?

Lani-Sorry…I didn't think he would steal all my hot water though…

Near- He didn't steal it, he _used it. _

_Tor- Near! Shut up, your gay._

_Near- This is not a suitable time to question my sexual orientation._

_Tor- Its still in question, eh?_

_Matty- Eh._

_INSERT HORIZONTAL BAR HERE_

_Yo. I am sorry I didn't put as many random venues in here, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. So many memories that just got created recently…that I cant remember most. Ah well, I hope you found this entertaining anyway! _


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the next chappy! Had fun with it, as usual. Expect the unexpected, ne?

* * *

"Naw! L is for everyone! Do you want me to elaborate on Rule Number One again? Lets see. It says…L BELONGS TO EVERYONE!" We go over this. A lot. I explain rule Number one to Bekah all the time….but she doesn't understand. Now I am sitting next to her, and across from a puzzled L. I suppose he must be wondering why there are rules about him. Or rather, when these rules came to exist.

"L, just choose. No. In fact! I declare you mine. You shall be my lover! For all eternity." Hehe. Bekah has been bonding with Lani way too much. She sounds just like her!

"Please don't tell me how to live my life." Yays! Amazing words from our beloved L! Feel blessed.

In this moment, Lani burst out laughing. A small head popped out of her pocket, and when I noticed the hair color, I put my death glare to use. I had plenty of practice in the last chappy! The little fella in Poco noticed the anger radiating from my body and crawled back into his pocket. I wasn't exactly fond of him, since he had tried to blow me up, and drive me insane. At the same time! Plus he was ugly! Stupid uglies. Damn…why do they exist?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a leg bend and straighten. "What the hell!? You cant just wave you leg around when we are….here!" Blame Mells for my new-found comfort in cursing. He applauds such behavior. For example: Did I teach you that!? Sweet! Yep. That was all he had to say after my chain of curses…which only emerged from my mouth because he pushed me off my bed and stole my pop tart. Also took meh key board. I therefore had to put 'awkward conversation' to use. He walked out of my room: "LALALA I cant hear you…" And I could get back to my conversation with Lani…just like I am going to get back to the current situation between L and his fangirls.

L stood up, apparently pondering his opinion upon fangirls. I spread out on the new-found space and thought back upon how we ended up in this situation. Mells had wanted to go back to London for a while, and we all happily agreed. He offered to pay, and since we wanted to keep his nice streak up, we all happily agreed to this as well. However, the deal was that we had to set up all the arrangements. All of us were to lazy, so we handed it off to Ryuk. However, he wanted to go kill humans in Berlin (Damn the Olympics), so he passed the responsibility to Matty. Ho hum. We are now somehow on top of the Eiffel Tower. Shall I explain?

Well, Matty got Paris and London confused, so he had bought tickets for the wrong city. Wrong country actually…THEN! He realized that he had failed to make hotel reservations. L appeared in his helicopter with Watari and we eagerly jumped in. However, there were many of us and L decided to inform us of the weight capacity after we lifted off. Watari decided it would be best if we just land on top of this here tower, and he would take us a few at a time. Of course, Mello claimed he wanted to go first. I was to go with him, but then guess who made their first appearance in what…2 ENTIRE months? Kathy damn chan. Or so she would say. "Hello Tori-chan! I just climbed this tower when I saw Mells land! I know we need to catch up, so you wouldn't mind if I ride with him instead, right?" "Yeah I care, damn it!" But no. She was already shoving chocolate down his throat. Away in the helicopter they went. And here we are, two hours later, hoping Watari will come back….eventually.

We therefore got on the subject of L. First: Why didn't he remove Kathy from the helicopter and go with Mells instead? His Answer: Mello may have become angry that I interfered with his chocolate-gaining opportunity. Next Question! Who is the most amazing of us all? And his answer? I have no preferences, because I only know you from what I am told by my anime-mates. I hear that Lani is hyper and Tori is bi-polar. The only thing I hear from Matsuda about Bekah is that she is a stealthy stalker. Sure this confused me a little, but then I eagerly continued my questioning. Do you know that we had to make a peace treaty because of you? He replied: I didn't. Why is this? This is when I told him of the rules, that were established in order to keep peace amongst fangirls. Lani and I were quite happy that he nodded in approval. Bekah mumbled something about changing these rules, but she really has no power over that.

Now, Lani is whispering to her butt. Does she not realize how obvious it is? She is most certainly too obsessed with her behind and should seek professional help. Oh wait…heh…heh…Near is probably in her pocket still…duh.

"Get. Him. Out. Of. There. AND! Make him proper size. Tiny Near is…creepy." Imagine little white men running around, nibbling on your toes. Err herm. Stubs of your persons soul.

" I believe you are narrating a story in your head. You just told your supposed readers that they should consider imagining me running about and biting there stubs of a soul. I must say that it is completely outrageous that one would imply such things." Damn. How does he know this crap?

"I know this because I am Near, and I know all." Near don't say that. He is therefore on crack and has temporary side-effects that include the ability to read another's mind.

"Perhaps you are correct. I don't believe I am acting normal today." Heh. Heh. I am right!

"But I am still capable of creating plans of your destruction." Lani bursts in at this point…

"Don't always try and kill each other! Tori, as a warning, if you experience uncontrollable and inappropriate laughter, its because of him!"

"Oh? This is interesting information I suppose, if not useless. What else should I be aware of?"

"Hmm. The fact that you are talking like him, that is also his doing. He knows it bothers you."

"I understand this. He most certainly correct that this manner of speaking perturbs me so, and I am ready to release my anger upon an unsuspecting, guilty genius. What else?"

"If you spontaneously combust…it wasn't him. But that would be bad, and you should consider getting it checked out."

"What the hell!? It would be pretty damn hard to get to a hospital if part of my is still splattered on the walls!" Only Lani would understand what I mean by that! I take pride in our knowledge of each others sloppy jokes.

Near went back into her pocket, and she patted it protectively. I was pondering the thought of Matty seeing this and experiencing such heart break that he would coming running to me…when I noticed he wasn't around. Then I saw a small trail of smoke rising form being some kind of ugly iron thing. I wandered around to the other side and found him apparently sleeping with the cancer stick still in his mouth. I removed it and dropped it into his makeshift ashtray.

I began walking away, ready to tell Lani that she needed to teach him some responsibility, when I heard his mumbling behind me.

"Hnn?"

"Yo's Matty!" Seriously, he even needs his smokes to sleep? I think this chain smoking habit is a little out of control…

"Oh? Tor-chan? What's up, Hun?" Gyah! How amazing is it when Matty calls you Hun? Shuddup and leave my to my fangirl squeals! Oh…Mello? Heh heh….these are my own personnel thoughts! Get out of them!

"Still waiting for Watari to come back. L called him once but there was no answer. Matsuda claimed that there was a crash and they all died, but then he passed out. I think he was on something…"

"Oh…that….it was fun! Mells said it would be badass to slip his drink like we did Near, so I tried it out. Shud'm up, huh!?"

"Yea…it did. Well. I would love to stay a hang with you Matty, but another situation calls my attention." Yes. I am talking a Lani and tiny Near hug. No. I wont allow her to become….tainted any longer. Time to squish the adverb. How…messy. Near germs all over. Ugh. " I would _really_ rather hang out with you. But Near feels the need to contaminate all of us with his presence. He must be disposed of."

"Lawlzz! You talk like him." NO MATTY! Not you too? I swear…its just those stupid explosives…

With that, I walked away, hoping Lani would come to her senses and agree to tossing Near over the wall, but at the same time, knowing she wont. Ho hum.

Three Hours Later.

Watari had come back, explaining that Mello insisted he took him to London before returning for the rest of us. Apparently, Mello succeeded by taking control and piloting the helicopter himself. Mello had informed him that he was to come get all of you and bring you back to America. He didn't want to spend his vacation with a bunch of lazy…bums.

After listening to Watari, we all decided that helicopters shouldn't be so tiny. Arguments began, but Lani broke them up. "All we need to do, is have a rock, paper, scissors competition! The two winners get to go with Watari this time."

"How about he just brings us all the ground, two by two, and we catch a plane to the U.S. That seems faster." That's right. Stand in awe under my amazing idea. For I am Tor-I. Heh heh.

Everyone pretty much agreed on this plan. Except Matty, of course, who was playing his pink D.S. He didn't really care…..

10 Minutes Later

"Yo Matty! It's our turn!" I got to ride with Matty! Since my faithful partner Mello bailed. Poor L was stuck with Bekah. Lani offered to go instead, but that would mean Near was open to all attacks. As in I could bite him! I was also bound to Matty though, because rule number 5 came into play.

I waited for Matty's reply, and when it didn't come, I poked him in the forehead. "Lets go Matty!"

"Yo! We all babies!" Ah. Memories from his last…ah. Lets just come out with the story real quick. Mello and Matty got drunk, Matsuda cleaned, Lani paid, and I learned we were all babies. Back to the present!

"I know, I know. Now, Lets go, or Near and Lani will take our seats and we will have to go last."

"Mmkay, mmkay! I'm comin." Very good.

Just then, Kaname- what the hell? Get out of my story, your head is tiny. Then he stepped towards me, and I was overwhelmed with a passionate kiss. HA! Just kidding. If he came anywhere near-shudders at the word…anyway- if he came anywhere near me I would bash his head in with my handy-dandy iron club.

Just like I was going to bash Kathy's head in! For some reason, I always had this hate towards her. Sure, she is portrayed as an innocent individual under the makings of Lani, but one step out of her story and….and…I don't know. I don't like her. She has known Mells for too long, and I am, apparently, a jealous person. Ah well, alls well that ends well? It would end great if it involved my iron club.

* * *

Sorry, it was outstandingly...short. I found it fairly enjoyable though. Needed more randomness, so I stuck the last two paragraphs in on an impulse. Gosh that youth group star bucks was good….I have odd cravings now…AH WAIT! Our cupboards were magically replenished with more mint crème cookies. I am done now, for sure.

Tori-chan!


End file.
